Nurturing Meaningful Connections: 

Tips for Improving Your Relationships

Humans are social creatures. We depend upon, and communicate with other people in almost every single thing we do. 

Less broadly, in this article we go over some tips and ways to improve your personal relationships, whether they are romantic, familial, or platonic.

Thoughts Precede Actions

Your most or second most important relationship, depending on how religious you are, is the one you have with yourself. Therefore, it is most appropriate to start by going over how you feel and think. Any other relationship is consistently affected by those factors. 

Regarding what you think, consistently reflect on what you want and need out of a specific relationship. Think about how you want to be and want to be seen in your specific relationships. 

Very often, we do things that do not exactly line up with how we truly want to act. For example, one may love their partner deeply, but having been raised in a family where outward profession of that love was not the norm, they might have a hard time vocalizing how they feel. 

When we act in a way that does not align with our personal values and characteristics we feel a sense of discomfort, a concept called the Self-Discrepency Theory. On the other hand, goal-setting can be extremely helpful in mental well-being and the outcomes of what we do. 

So, by always consciously having in mind who we want to be and how we want to be can go a long way in overcoming obstacles like personal discomfort (like the example), momentary laziness, or otherwise whims that can get in the way by aligning our actions with our values and focusing on goals in line with said values.

The Mind Chooses the Actions, But the Heart Makes Them Matter

Relationships have everything to do with how the people involved feel. Emotions can influence our thought processes and decisions. So, being in touch with feelings and emotions is essential to communicating how we feel and what we need.

Sometimes we broadly know how we feel, but not why, or exactly what it is exactly that we feel. More closely knowing your tendencies and emotions about different aspects of your relationship can help navigate said relationships. This helps to avoid conflicts from coming up or to work through them effectively if they do come up.

Try to often reflect on how things make you feel. When do you feel happy or fulfilled in your relationship? When do you feel frustrated? When were do you feel unsure? 

Asking yourself these questions means that over time you are more likely to find patterns between the behaviours and qualities of the other person, in other words, what they do, and your emotions. When you find a pattern that you feel positively about you can effectively communicate what is going well, and vice versa.

Thoughts and Emotions Aside, Some tips to try

Reassure the other person that you are open to talk: Very often an issue that could have or should have been addressed early on and relatively easily is not addressed because people want to avoid confrontation. In addition, confrontation avoidance can have negative effects on health. Letting the other person know that you are open to, and appreciate any communication and constructive discussion helps to lower that sense of avoidance.

Articulate and clearly communicate what you need: Assuming that the other person should know something or that they understand what is working and what is not leaves far too much room for misunderstanding. Specifically, try to use "I" statements, always incorporating what the topic is, how it relates to you, and how it makes you feel. These statements promote empathy and cooperation.

Work through conflict by setting a plan of action: While talking about something that is causing conflict is good, coming up with a way to address it that works for everyone is far better.

Make an effort to focus on communicating what makes you happy about your relationship: While it is essential to resolve conflict and focus on what is not going well, if we omit what IS going well can make it feel like there is more friction than not. Consistently talk about and mention what you love and are happy with, as it increases the likelihood of them happening.

Final Thoughts

Mastering communication is not simple and takes effort. The only way that we can improve is often by talking about things that are uncomfortable or feel awkward. However, it is almost always worth the effort and leads to a deeper connection. 

If you want to read more about communicating, check out our article on non-judgmental communication.